Wednesday, April 28, 2010

House Rulls

This year, I've really been working on our "Family Rules". I grew up in a loving home, and we had set boundaries- and that's something I want for my kids too!

Some (basic) rules we have are:

1. Sit together for dinner as often as possible.
2. Respect each other (no yelling, back talking, don't be demanding)
3. Use a kind loving tone, even when disciplining (I admit, this isn't always easy... but I'm working on it)
4. ABSOLUTELY no hitting. Hands are for hugging!
5. Help clean up our messes.

Well, tonight I learned a tough lesson on follow through. My husband and I have laid out some consequences for breaking the rules.... and tonight Logan hit his sister. The consequence for hitting in our house is: no TV, no treats, go to bed 30 minutes early.

After he hit her, I sat him down, and got eye to eye with him. I lowered my voice and spoke in very clear three to five word sentences (this tecnique is called "low and slow"; it's very useful for children with sensory issues). "Logan, (pause) we don't hit. (pause) Hands are for hugging. (pause) When we hit (pause) then there is a consequence. (pause)" I repeated that phrase about three times. He was very upset and I hugged him and told him that he needed to cool off in his room for 4 minutes.

I SO badly wanted to run in there and tell him "no big deal blah blah blah" and then give him cookies and pretend nothing happened- but that wouldn't be very responsible of me {poo}.

Luckily for me, this incident happened around 6.30pm ANYWAY, so I didn't have too much back lash- I just started my bedtime routine right then! But when I laid him down at 7.30, and he begged me to let him watch TV, and he told me how sorry he was, and how he wanted to talk to sister and tell her he was wrong- I REALLY wanted to give in... but I didn't. I lovingly told him "that phrase" hugged him and told him that I love him very much.

And now??

He's asleep. And it's not even 8 yet... I guess there is something to be said about following through. Who knew?

1 comment:

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