A Little More About ME.

Some things you may not know about me:

1. I always heat stuff up in the microwave for 17 seconds.
   
2. I use the phrase "like I said" a little too much.
3. I keep a very clean house- but a very messy car.
4. I'm paranoid that someone is always listening in on my phone calls. In fact when I'm talking on the phone I'll say "If someone's listening that was a joke..."
5. I am the TOTAL opposite of a pack rat. Because I don't hold (much) value to worldly things I often give things to others. I call it "the ultimate recycle".
6. I spend lots of money on my kids clothes- and virtually none on myself. I'm working on that this coming year.
   
7. I have a slight addiction to kids pajamas.
8. I often start projects and never finish them- that's another goal for 2010.
9. I love the beach, but hate the sand.
10. I took 3 years of Spanish and can probably on say two phrases.
11. I'm a God fearing, baby wearing, organic eating, whole food baking, no spanking, kind word speaking, "big word" explaining, anti- chemical using, self proclaimed "hippy-go-free-free" kind of Mom.
12. YET, I'm pro vaccination (Sorry R), non co-sleeping, diet coke drinking, (sometimes) bleach using, saved by Grace kind of Mom too.
13. I'm working on being more environmentally contentious- another 2010 goal.
14. I love being married to an only child. I'm the daughter my in laws never had :)
15. I NEVER watch scary movies... not even the commercials.

Well there you have it! Until next time- HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! May God continue to bless you this year. Remember, each day is a gift.

The World

may need may need ear plugs.


They may see him has a nuisance.


But I see him as gift.


The best gift.


Thank you Logan- for just being you.

Less than 10 days to Christmas and

IT'S EIGHTY DEGREES!

Seriously, I'm getting depressed from all this sunshine and heat. Can we get a little cool breeze for Christmas morning?

Is that too much to ask?

I mean, really, opening presents in shorts and a tank top doesn't scream "Christmas Morning" to me!

Santa Disclaimer II

Well... after spending all this time making it known that we "don't do Santa"- my son had a different idea.

He came home from school yesterday, looked out the window and said "Mommy, I hear it. The sleigh's outside."

How could I crush his dreams?? What's a Mom to do?

I know! I could download an iPhone app.

Ug, thoughts???

Another Tooth...

Or two!

Lily's two canine teeth broke through last night- and her front two are right behind. By Christmas she'll have six teeth- not that she needs them. Gumming food has not slowed her down one bit! I seriously think she eats more then me.

Tonight she had black beans, rice, a quesodilla, AND about 1 1/2 cup of butternut squash. That girls crazy- but totally cute!



Where did my little newborn go?

Better Late then Never

Forgiveness is hard. Especially when you have to forgive yourself.

As hard as this is to admit, when I look back at pictures of my son's first years, I feel a deep pain. I look at pictures of a perfect baby boy- and an ignorant mother. A mother that glosses over warning signs of a son that has special needs. I see a beautiful innocent boy that's crying for help- and a mother that's caught up in "life" to see it.

Here are some examples of some pictures that are painful view.

This is the ghost of Christmas past:

Christmas 2006 (Logan is 15 months)

Christmas 2007 (Logan is just over 2)


Christmas 2008

Notice every picture he has a phone. Why didn't I see it? Where was I? Why didn't I see it?

Ouch. I need to forgive myself.

At least I can see the fixation now. Better late then never.

Santa Disclaimer

I want to be totally and completely open and honest on my blog. My husband and I decided (before we had children) that we wouldn't "do Santa". That has sometimes been hard for me the past few years. There are days I'm not sure, and there are days where I know we're making the right decision.

He does watch Christmas movies, and he knows who Santa is- but as far as he's concerned Santa is like Mickey Mouse. Make believe. All the gifts come from us and we don't set out cookies and we don't "ask Santa" for anything. He's just a character on TV and in books.

Some family and friends have called us "The Grinches". Some have expressed to us that we are steeling some magical childhood moment from our kids- and others have completely supported it.

Don't get me wrong, as a child I have very fond memories of coming down stairs and feeling the magic and wonder that Santa knew what I wanted. Having the feeling that he knew me. In fact, I never had that "you lied to me" or "you betrayed me" feeling when I figured out the truth. I didn't care who I was getting the presents from- as long as I was getting presents.

It's actually because of that, that solidified our decision. I want my son and daughter's Christmas to be focused on Christ. I don't want to conform to what the world says is "normal". Because I'm not normal.

Comfort Food

Well, it's freezing cold outside- for most of the United States.

Here in the south, it's 80 degrees and humid. Go figure.


I never thought I'd be sweating and wearing a t-shirt and flip flops while visiting Santa.


BUT since I'm in the "wintery mood" I've been on a soup kick. Yesterday I made an awesome potato soup and today I just put split pea soup in the crock pot.

Maybe I'll turn the AC to 60 and put on a sweat shirt.

Christmas Cards- the Outtakes.

We went to the local mall to take pictures for our Christmas cards.


They went... as expected.

Lily tried to steel Logan's candy cane.

We* couldn't get them both to look at the camera

*my Mom and I

They both found interesting "things" on the ground.

But they're still stinkin' cute.

If I do say so myself.

Out of 146 photos-

We only got one good one.

But we got some relief

at dinner.

and the Second One gets that shaft.

Lily is such an awesome baby- for the most part. She has her moments (and her days) that make me wonder "we planned this one, right?".

But all-in-all she's a great young lady, and the perfect second child. She rolls with the punches (sometimes literally) and goes with the flow. But while I was feeding her a nutritious breakfast of graham crackers and organic puffs, I got to thinking...

With my first I did everything "by the book":

• He ate only jarred foods (which, at the time, I thought was best)
• He was on a very strict sleeping and eating schedule
• His bed sheets were changed EVERYDAY (a little OCD on my part I know)
• He played with the safest, most up to date toys (although he would have been happy with a twig- or a phone... go figure)
• He was changed often, always had his face wiped, and his clothes never had a stain or mark on them. If they did, his clothes were promptly changed, and the stain treated.
• He was only exposed to Baby Einstein on DVD

Not to mention I:

• Cleaned the whole house- top to bottom everyday
• Did laundry everyday
• Exposed Logan to friends, play dates, and "outings" often
• Wiped down his toys with Clorox wipes, and made sure if his cup hit the floor it would be properly washed (I always had a back up)
• Wiped the cart, restaurant high chairs, and tables. If his hand so much as grazed any of those things- it was wiped too
• My diaper bag was sufficiently packed with everything I might need- and I had a back up in my car

With my second child, most of that junk went out the window. I don't have a rigid schedule, my house is nowhere near that clean- seriously- her sheets get changed once every week (or two- hanging my head in shame), I rarely bring a diaper bag let alone a well stocked one, I forget to bring food with me so we resort to pancakes (something I NEVER would have given Logan before his first birthday), she's never ridden in a grocery cart, I always "wear" her, I can't remember the last time I wiped her toys, she's never had an official "play date", and she watches Nick Jr.

Please don't call CPS on me- I'll put a Baby Einstein on today.

the Message in the mess

... of Christmas that is.


I am blessed beyond belief, and yet suffer from the "manys".

• Many months of planning
• Many decorations
• Many hours shopping
• Many dollars spent
• Many hours thinking about/worrying about presents
• Many hours of thinking about lights (yes I'm guilty of that)
• Many outfits (I'm guilty of that, too)
• Many gifts bought
• Many.. many.. many...

God, however gave us the BEST gift since creation. The indescribable gift of Life and Love: Jesus.

I'd like to take a moment and share a story with you.

One cold and dark night shepherds were chilling in their robes working in the fields. If had been four hundred years since the world had heard from God- no prophets, no burning bushes, noth-ing.

And all of a sudden an Angel of Lord appears from the sky. (this is how I envision it- the Bible doesn't go into detail- so I will only know the ACTUAL visual in eternity) The field was black, and I don't think the angel snuck up on them looking like just another shepard in a robe- I'm thinking the field light up with the awesome power of God- and the angel of Lord said "Do not be afraid..." And the shepards, trembling in their sandals, were thinking "don't be afraid- where did you come from? My family and I have been working this field for years, nothing OR NO ONE has ever stepped foot out here with out us knowing about it. And you tell me not to be afraid."

"...I bring you good tidings joy, for all the people of the world. For unto you is born this day, in the city of Bethlehem, a Savior who is Christ the Lord."

And the shepards all agreed, they would travel to see Him. They wanted to witness this awesome miracle that God had told them about.

Meanwhile, after traveling out of their home town, a young couple (Mary was an estimated 13is) were looking for a place to stay. It was cold, they had been walking for days and all they needed was a warm place to rest their heads.

"Sorry we're full"
"Sorry we're full"
"Sorry we're full"
"Sorry we're full"
"Sorry we're full"
"Sorry we're full, but we have this cave (yes a manger was a cave) where all the animals live. You can stay there."

Now think about that. Would you like to crawl into you're dogs kennel and sleep? Or cuddle up next to your kitty's litter box and take a nap- I'm thinking no.

So Mary (I imagine) starts praying:"Lord, I trust You. You have given me the Light of World. Please, Lord God, let me carry Him for a couple more nights."

Just then, her water breaks.

And here He comes. Hours of labor (again, this is what I envision- the Word doesn't go into the details of labor), the smell of poop, animal hair in the eye and one brave girl and her betrothed waiting for the most precious gift. Joesph was trying the keep the donkey out of Mary's face, while Mary was screaming out to God saying "Why, O God, did you choose me?"

Then out of darkness, after the morning sicknesses, the stretch marks, the sleepless nights, the leg cramps, the hemorrhoids, the varicose veins, the swollen feet, the pushing, the screaming, and the bleeding came the soft cry of a baby boy. He could have come with winds stronger than a hurricane. He could have come with all the power and might of a typhoon. But He came like a soft winter snow.

Wrapped in some dirty old rags, God presented the most beautiful gift- Jesus.

He didn't come wrapped in the finest linen, or foiled paper with gorgeous bow. He was presented lying next to animal hair and poop, wrapped in old clothes.

Here's me on the birthday of both my kids. Defiantly not as dirty as a manger would be.

Thank You Lord for the most precious gift of all mankind. Thank You O God, for giving us Your Son- 100% man, 100% God. Open our hearts, Father. Teach us Your way.

I've thought a lot about Mary over the past few months (and in turn, a lot about the young Jesus). As I sit up at night and rock (or glide) my baby girl, I wonder "Did Jesus pull Mary's hair, too?" I think He did. I wonder while tucking my son into bed at night "Did Jesus like to run around the house with His brothers screaming in joy (all the while minding His parents, of course)?" I think He did that, too.

And that friends, is the true gift this holiday. The gift of Hope. The gift of Love.

Christmas is not about the magic- but the Miracle.

He's heard my cry. He knows my pain. He knows my fears. He knows me. And I know Him. And sharing His love is the best gift I could give.

So this Christmas- I'm not getting caught up in the mess. I'm getting caught up in the Message. Christ is here- my chains are gone, I've been set free.